Keep Going/Get started: a message to those who are new to exercise!

I figure I have been posting a lot of blogs about things pertaining to the fun that is epilepsy.  Which, by the way, it's still kinda weird to think that I actually have something long-term to deal with.  But I guess nobody is really completely healthy forever, and we all have things we have to learn to deal with as we get older.  Anyways! Onto positive topics.

I figure I will write this blog entry about running (surprise!)  More specifically, why it makes me so happy to see people get out and run - or exercise in general - even if they are completely out of shape, obese, whatever.  Some people, particularly those who are fast and have run their entire lives, tend to judge others who aren't as fast, or complain about the culture of running these days - how everyone is just trying to run a marathon to say they did it, even if it takes them six hours to finish.  You know what I say to those people: screw you.  Okay, I'll say it more nicely...  it doesn't really matter what you think.  I mean, as much as I'd like to be really really fast and win races rather than merely place in my age group, it isn't necessary to be fast in order to use running to improve your life.  I specifically say running because that's what I do, and it doesn't really require special equipment (though I really like all my little gadgets, lol).

I think it's awesome when people push their limits and try to make themselves better - whether it is to lose weight or just to feel better, or even just to push limits.  I will probably never be a world class runner (the chance of that happening is probably like... less than 1%), but I love pushing my limits.  I prefer pushing distance over speed, maybe because I don't need to be super fast to keep running further and further.  My limits are probably different than someone who has just started.  For me three miles is an easy run, but for someone else, running a 5k is the ultimate goal.  For someone who has never run or who is carrying 200 pounds, running a 5k is pretty awesome.  I say keep going.  You are putting in the effort that most Americans wouldn't bother with.  We all have to start somewhere.  Heck, when I have had a long lay off, three miles isn't easy for me either.  It takes time and dedication to improve, whatever your level of fitness.  Just having that dedication to make yourself more fit generally translates into dedication in other areas.  When I was at West Point I used to keep telling myself (very eloquently I must say) that "everything that sucks eventually comes to an end."  I think running helped instill that mindset in me.  Every race, no matter how terrible I feel, eventually has an end.  I think I told myself that on my most recent race of 18.12 miles.  I wasn't really prepared for the distance, but it eventually was over, and I felt great knowing I pushed my limits.  It doesn't matter whether it's 18.12 miles or 3 or 4 or even 1 mile, working hard and accomplishing your goals is one of the best feelings and confidence boosters.

So here's what I will say to those of you who are thinking of starting an exercise program but are too intimidated because you're out of shape:  just do it.  There's a reason Nike took that up as their motto.  Even if you have to walk at first, or you have to cycle at the lowest gear.  It doesn't matter.  If your lower body won't let you do anything, but you want to get fitter, try lifting weights.  Lift the lightest weight if you have to.  Your body will eventually adapt, and you'll feel amazing when you realize that suddenly the weight you first struggled with becomes too easty.   Don't worry about what other people will think, because in fact, most people will admire you.  The ones who are judging you will judge regardless, but it doesn't matter what they think.  It's your health and your body.  You may not be able to control everything in your life, but take charge of what you can!  You'll be glad you did!

Remaining Positive (or trying, anyway)

I cannot focus on my homework right now, so I figured I would blog.  First, I am trying to stay positive about things.  It is working better now than it was earlier, lol.  Positive of staying here in NY instead of going back to the West Coast would include being closer to my marathon and getting to enjoy the winter sports.  Oh yes, and I will be able to actually visit the college I am currently attending online (it's about an hour and a half from here).  Also, I am finally making some friends in the area.  It's difficult to find people to hang out with when you aren't in a regular unit - particularly women!  Fortunately, I've found some runner people and have also started hanging out more with one of my friends from West Point.  I ALSO have to remember that once I start driving again, things will be better.  I won't be stuck.  And since I have no problem doing things alone, even if my friends are busy with work/family, I will still get out and explore - just like I did last year!  So, there are positives.  Of course I would love to be close to my family again, and I miss the Pacific Northwest, but I can deal with being here.  As long as I can drive again soon!  :p  My neurologist better clear me to drive next month!

Speaking of the neurologist, I just called his office to discuss changing dosing schedules or something along these lines.  The new medications I'm on seem to be helping quite a bit with seizure control, but the medications have affected my sleep and moods quite a bit.  I've been having really vivid dreams since I started increasing the dose of Lamictal, and now they are turning into nightmares.  Last night's was an awful bloody nightmare that woke me up at two in the morning, and I can't get the image of it out of my head.  I guess that's what happens when you take medications that alter your brain chemistry... Anyways, I'm hoping changing the timing of my dosage, or something, might help this stop.  I like that I don't feel brain dead during the day (apparently a lot of seizure meds make it really hard to think), and I like that my weight has stayed pretty neutral, since a lot cause a lot of these medications also cause a huge amount of weight gain.  I guess I'm still trying to sort through everything and realize that this is something that isn't going to go away.  Once everything is stabilized, I think it will be better and not something I think so much about.  Currently, it is hard NOT to think about everything.  I'm sure the fact that this is the only reason I'm in the U.S. instead of Afghanistan is not helping me forget!  BUT, eventually things will be normal again.  I guess the positive is I have actually been able to see my family - I was able to see my sister's college graduation, I've been able to see my boyfriend a couple of times, and I have been safe.

Of course, if I had stayed deployed, I would be over halfway done with my deployment.  That still bothers me - that I would be so close to being done if I had been able to stay.  It almost feels as if I've wasted the past four months since I've returned in the states.  Of course I haven't.  But sometimes it seems that way.  I SHOULD be over it, seeing that I've been back stateside longer than I was deployed, but it's hard.  I've become more and more adjusted, but again - it's not as if I was able to come back and just go back to my life pre-deployment.  Instead I was put in a medical hold unit, with a lot of future uncertainty, and a new health diagnosis.  BUT, I am trying really hard to stay positive, as hard as it is with all of this uncertainty.  At least I'm lucky that I will most likely get to stay in the military because my seizures seem pretty controllable with medication.  There are people whose seizures can't be controlled with medication.

Alright, well, I suppose I should work some more on homework... At least I have something else to focus on  - school!  :)  I have my first paper due on Sunday.

Love,
Nina

Getting my Groove Back (or trying anyway)

My title is referring to my running for the most part!  I've finally been getting back into everything and it feels awesome.  For those who don't know, I was supposed to run a half marathon on Sunday.  I was undecided whether to run it or not because I was worried about my knee and making it worse.  I decided if I could find a ride I would do it, and I got a ride.  Once I got to the race I talked to someone who switched from the 18.12 miles to the half marathon.  Oh I forgot to mention, there was also an 18.12 mile race option in commemoration of the War of 1812, the race was actually called the 1812 challenge.  Anyway, one of my Dailymile friends- who I got to meet in person, yay!  - had told me her longest run in the past few months was only ten miles, and she was doing the 18-miler.  Being the person I am, and regretting that I had signed up for only the half marathon, I found someone 15 minutes before the start of the race and switched from the half marathon to the 18-miler!

  I was completely unprepared to run 18 miles, though I had carbo loaded the night before, and ate a decent amount before the race.  My longest run since the marathon in April had been 13.5 miles.  My reasoning was I had only run 20 miles before the marathon, and that's a difference of 6.2 miles.  If I could do that, then I could definitely tack on less than FIVE miles for an 18-miler.  Besides, I've run over 18 miles four times, though the only time it was at race pace was during the marathon!  Speed does add another dimension to it all.  Anyway, did the 18.12 miles, and actually felt pretty decent until somewhere between miles 14 and 15.  I tried to go out slow, and kept my average pace in the 8:20-8:50 minute miles.  My half marathon pace is usually in the 8:05 - 8:15 minute mile pace, depending on the day and how much I've trained, so I was running slower.  My half marathon time during the race was somewhere in the 1:54 range (my garmin was sort of jacked up, so I'm not sure what the exact time was), which is slower than my "average" half marathon pace by 5-6 minutes (my best time is 1:46:05, or something like that - I can't remember the EXACT seconds, but it's in the low 1:46 range, and I've run around there twice), so I was definitely slower than I could have been.  Nonetheless, my pace sorta plummeted - as in, slowed down, not went up - around mile 15.  My miles went from being in the 8-minute range to the 9-minute range until the last mile, where I managed to squeek an 8:56, and then kick in the finish.  How I managed to find any energy to put in a final kick, I'm not sure, but I did.  Apparently I looked pretty beat up when I stopped running too - I think I was staggering a bit - because they had me go to the medical tent, hahaha.  I ended up coming in third in my age group, which isn't too bad considering the fact that I was completely unprepared and untrained to race 18.12 miles!  I'm pretty optimistic about the fact I did it with little pain.  Granted, I used an IT Band strap (those things are amazing, by the way), along with compression shorts and tights.  There was some knee pain at points, but tightening the IT Band strap helped.  I stopped a couple of times to adjust, but since I wasn't out to win the race, I was okay with stopping.  I had planned on treating the run like a training run anyway (though anyone who knows me knows that my training pace for that distance is a LOT slower than what I ran!)

  I am glad I did the run though - now I got my 18 miles out of the way!  I won't be increasing my long run distance THIS week though!  I'm still in recovery mode, even though it's been like four days.  I managed five miles today, though I've been throwing in walking up/down hills so as to give my legs a break.  I think the longest distance I'm going to do this week is around eight miles, probably on Sunday.  But I'm not going to put anything in stone, because that's how I end up hurting myself.  And since I'm still recovering from this whole IT Band thing... yeah... gonna be careful :)  Also, the medications I'm on.  I think they dehydrate me.  I've always kinda been prone to getting dehydrated anyway, but every morning when I wake up my mouth feels like a desert.  

  I am going to post some pictures once they are all up!  

I started that yesterday and never posted... typical.  Two nights in a row of terrible sleep.  I woke up so many times.  I thought I was over not sleeping well at night - guess I was wrong!  I think I need to watch out for what time I do my runs.  I did my run yesterday around 5:30, which means I finished sometime around 6:30, and I laid down for bed around 9:30.  Hm, either that or I'm running too much, and my body has having a hard time slowing down.  I know, that's funny, considering I only ran 37 miles last week total, and I've hardly run at all this week (seven miles so far, though it's recovery for me after Sunday's race!)  Well, either way, my heart rate has been pretty high lately - like, in the 80's.  That's kinda high for someone who runs a decent amount.  Ideally, it should at least be in the 60's.  Usually when I'm in good running shape it's somewhere in the high 50's.  Either way, the 80s are high.  At least my blood pressure is low... 98/66 yesterday.  The nurse who took my blood pressure was concerned.  I told her it's always that low, but she insisted on doing the other arm, which was 100/66.  She asked if I get dizzy and if I am tired frequently.  Well, dizzy, yes.  ESPECIALLY now with my medications - but I got easily dizzy in the past as well.

Now I'm rambling, so I shall end this post.   The initial point, though, was that I am so happy that I'm getting back into running regularly.  Ideally, my knee will be good to go without an IT Band Strap, but if it means I can run regularly, I will deal with wearing the strap until it heals.    Have a wonderful day readers :)

Nina

Thoughts on Change, Politics, and Other Controversial Topics

Based on a Facebook conversation regarding this article, I want to share some of my thoughts on change and this country, and people's impressions on change and our country's future.

If you want a quick synopsis of the article, it is written by a former West Point graduate complaining about the repeal of Don't Ask, Don't Tell, and what a shame it is that cadets are now allowed to be openly gay, and how West Point represents society, and basically America is falling apart because West Pointers are allowed to be openly gay.  When I first started reading the article it was so ridiculous that I thought it was satire until I got further into the article and realized this guy was serious.  Maybe I wouldn't have taken so much offense to it, except he also made a statement along the lines of "first women, and now this!"  I'm sorry, I didn't know that having women and gays at West Point was an indication of the eventual downfall of America. I didn't know that the only people who are good enough to represent American values were straight, white males.

This also sparked some other thoughts.  I am tired of hearing political parties complain about how the other party is going to destroy our great country (okay, I guess that is more the conservatives against the liberals).  Our country is still fairly new in the grand scheme of things.  Things have been changing since our country was established.  Actually, our country wouldn't even EXIST as we know it if the country's original founders didn't WANT change, so in short, our country was founded on change.  How can people expect that things won't change if that is what our country was founded on?  If nothing ever changed then several of these people complaining about it would probably still be peasants working on a farm somewhere under some land lord.  If nothing ever changed, everything would still be based on the class system, and if you weren't born rich, well then sorry... You were going to be eternally stuck in your position with some oppressive monarchy stopping you from moving ahead in life.  Hm... but I guess in THAT case, change was good.  Right?  Or, there's the whole issue of slavery.  Yeah, there were definitely some people who were against getting rid of THAT too.  Or how about when domestic violence was okay and legal because it was up to the family to deal with it because the man was the head of the house?  I realize I'm making some rather sweeping generalizations, but with every change, there have ALWAYS been people who have rejected the change.  I wish people would keep that in mind when they make generalizations about how our great country is falling apart with every new change that comes about.  Our country is new, was founded on change, and will probably continue to change, and that doesn't necessarily mean that it's coming to its demise.

I can see some merit in some of the arguments... I am a Christian - not a perfect one, but I am religious - and there are some things I see that do bother me, but that doesn't mean that I want everything to be the way it was back in the 1800s just because people were more religious back then.  I suppose I'm sort of a rare breed because I'm a Christian in the military, but I'm also fairly liberal in some areas, perhaps because of my own background.  I do not think that everyone who uses welfare is a drug addict or lazy.  I also don't think that having universal health care is a bad idea.  I know, I know, I'm against everything that most people in the military think is the right way.

I know from first hand experience that sometimes welfare is necessary for short periods of time.  Sometimes things happen that are out of someone's control.  It could be anything from leaving an abusive husband to serious health problems that have temporarily left you unable to work, and until you know someone, you can't really judge their situation.  Sure there are people who abuse the system, but the majority would rather feel that they are actually doing something productive for society.

Many, many people I know are very against universal health care.  To be honest, I don't know all of the details of it just yet - though if it all sticks around, I'm sure I'll learn all about it in my master's program.  But I do know that I don't think it's such a bad idea - despite the many opinions that President Obama is trying to turn our country into a socialist state.  Here is a news flash: part of how we came out of the Great Depression was with public assistance programs.  Just become something has always been a certain way doesn't mean that it can't be made better.  Maybe I am slightly biased on this because of my own family health issues, but I don't think someone should be denied health care because of situations that are likely out of their own control.  Without getting into too much detail, I have seen how not having health insurance can be a downward spiral, and oftentimes the lack of health insurance is not a willful choice by the patient (ever tried getting health insurance when you're too sick to work enough hours to get employee benefits?)  Just some food for thought.

I can see myself veering toward a little more than I intended this blog post to be, so I'll stop while I'm ahead. This is just some food for thought.  

Facebook. And then medication side effects.

Rather than posting this on Facebook (where I know not everyone wants to know!)  I'll post here.  That way I know anyone who is deliberately looking at my page is actually interested in my random thoughts, rather than my thoughts posting on someone's news feed.

First, I was thinking about how weird Facebook really is, though it is something with which we are all accustomed.  I started thinking about it because I was thinking how I have had my "relationship status" blank for... well, awhile.  I remember back a few years ago when if I was in a relationship and I didn't have a status there, it would bother me.  Now I don't really care, even though I've been with my current boyfriend for over a year, and even that is hard to define because there was no "asking out", it just sort of happened.  Everyone who is close to me knows, and that really is what counts.

  That got me thinking about other Facebook/social networking things.  For one, how strange it would be to grown up as a child with Facebook being so dominant.  Yes, it has taken a lot of my time, and I'm still in the age group that uses Facebook regularly at the age of 26, and I just finished my undergraduate degree a little over a year ago, so I guess that also plays into my Facebook usage, as college students were the original intended audience.  But, regardless of that, I didn't have Facebook when I was in high school.  I didn't have a cell phone until I was eighteen.  I was reading a piece about how high school students now have grown up with their "profiles" presenting to the world, and every little mistake/flaw/anything is broadcast to their peers.  I can't help but think how awful that would be at that age.  It's bad enough that if something is wrong with you everyone can SEE it, but now there's evidence posted to the internet that you can't really take away.  When I was in high school the internet was starting to get popular, but we still had dial-up, and AOL and Yahoo were the places to be.  I had a Yahoo profile and a little webpage on Angelfire with some recordings of me singing/playing my flute, along with a link to some of my poetry.  Oh, I also had a blog (opendiary.com!) where I wrote more about everything personal and intimate than anyone should really know.  I've learned to tame that down a bit as people I actually know read my blogs nowadays :)

Anyways, to get back to my original point, I am not a Facebook-hater.  I like Facebook.  I like being able to keep in touch and share pictures with the people that matter.  The ones I'm not as close to can of course choose to not look at my page and unsubscribe to my updates, so it's a win-win for everyone.  It probably keeps me in touch with some people that aren't as important to me, and I will say that I probably wouldn't call quite a few of my Facebook friends with big news, but the ones who really are important to me would still hear from me if they didn't have a Facebook account (though everyone I'm close to has one, so that makes life easier!)  I also don't mind if some of my friends post constant updates... I know some people complain and complain about how people post everything on their page.  It's their page.  Get over it.  Anyway!

Next on the plate is these crazy medicines I'm on right now!  (If you don't really care, you can stop reading now, haha).  I still sometimes feel as if I'd be better off without them... I feel as if sometimes the side effects are worse than the condition.  Granted, if I wasn't taking them, there's a good chance the seizures would be getting worse, as they were beginning to do before I was on medication.  Actually they still aren't completely under control, but I can't help but wonder if they would be worse without the medicine... Would I be having more actual convulsions???  I've only had that happen a couple of times, but the partial seizures were getting a lot worse, and since my seizures "generalize" (meaning they spread to other parts of the brain), it's very possible I could be having worse seizures, so maybe the medications are better.  I'm on a new medication now, Lamictal.  This is in addition to the Keppra.  I'm finally up to the dosage the neurologist wanted me to stop at, though I'm not sure if he's going to increase it at my next appointment.  So far the side effects have been better than the Keppra side effects, but I still feel weird.

I have been having crazy dreams lately, which is actually listed as a side effect of the medication.  They aren't as bad as they were, but a lot of them were rather depressing/violent.  Not really the way I want to spend my sleeping hours.... I've also had a terrible time waking up every morning.  Most nights I've been sleeping early (before ten), and yesterday I slept twelve hours.  This morning I woke up around nine and had to push myself to get out of bed.  I wanted to run this morning (I'm drinking coffee/water and trying to feel more normal right now, actually), so I got myself up.  I feel hungover.  I've been dizzy every single morning/half the day.  Like, when I laid down on the ground to do a stretch the other day, the ceiling was spinning.  I'm hoping my body adjusts to this dosage soon, but I'm afraid I'll be put on an even higher dose at my next appointment, so then my body will have to adjust to THAT.

So this is why I say the side effects seem worse than the actual condition... I'll describe the symptoms I USUALLY have.  I get mostly partial seizures, which means I don't drop to the floor and have convulsions most of the time.  They take place in one part of the brain, which usually causes some weird sensations.  Mine are in the left temporal lobe, so they affect my memory/speech quite a bit.  When I'm having a partial seizure I may have different symptoms.  Usually I'll have a sense of deja vu, and then my stomach feels like it is rising (like maybe if you're nervous).  Sometimes I'll feel like I'm remembering a dream, or I'm not HERE, and I'm watching myself in another spot, and it feels real.  Sometimes it's hard to distinguish whether something really happened and I'm remembering it, or I'm having a seizure.  Usually I'll get nauseous when this happens, which tells me it's a seizure.  Usually these only last a really short time, like 1-2 minutes, and then I won't even be able to remember exactly how I felt, and it seems like the seizure never happened.  I have started writing these experiences down while they're happening, which is how I'm able to recall them so well.    Sometimes they will be longer, in which case my speech will be kinda messed up, like I'll have issues finishing sentences/finding the right words (my mom can attest to this as I've been on the phone with her when it's happened).  During these longer ones I'll get dizzy/light headed.  Sometimes I'll smell something "weird" that isn't actually there.  I guess that's the "generalization," as these are the feelings I had before my bigger seizures (when I had convulsions and lost consciousness).  Most of the time it stops at the 1-2 minute mark, sometimes it spread, but it has only spread all the way a few times.

So, in reality, it's not that bad, except now I freak out when I feel these sensations because I know it's possible I could have a Tonic-Clonic seizure (tonic means you stiffen up, the clonic phase is the convulsion phase - these used to be known as grand mal seizures), and I DON'T want to have those.  I was able to ignore the partial seizures for a long time.  Well, maybe not IGNORE them, but I thought they were never going to lead to another Tonic-Clonic seizure again (the first time this happened was a couple of years ago). Hence this is why I feel that sometimes the side effects of the medications are worse than the actual condition.  Of course, this may not be entirely true.  The longer untreated epilepsy continues, the worse it gets.   Your brain gets used to misfiring.  Kind of like if several people walk across a specific spot in grass all the time, the grass gets worn away and it turns into a kind of path that gets easier and easier to cross.  It's the same thing with the neurons in the brain.  The more often they misfire, the easier it is for them to continue misfire because the "pathways" are more open.  And where my seizures take place, that affects things like memory and speech.  My memory has turned to crap.  I also have a hard time focusing/listening.  These are relatively new issues for me.  If someone gives me directions, I'll probably forget them as soon as I actually try to go that way.  And somehow I managed to make it through West Point, despite the fact that my memory was getting worse!    Part of the memory stuff is medication side effects and part of that is the fact that this has gone on for awhile.  At LEAST two years, though who knows if I was dealing with it before.  Like I said earlier, I'll usually forget how I felt shortly after, and it's only been since I've started paying attention that I could remember.

Anyway, that was a long explanation, I know.  For most of my readers, it probably isn't all that interesting.  I actually find it really interesting, but then again, that's because I'm dealing with it.  Oh, and I was a psychology major, so I find the brain really interesting, and always have :)  Honestly, I would love to study neuropsychology.   When they sent me to the neuropsychologist for my memory issues (they also suspected mild traumatic brain injury - TBI - since I hit my head pretty hard during my last convulsive seizure) I was asking all sorts of questions.  I told him that I actually wanted to pursue that later in life, so he was educating me.  It was pretty cool :)  I guess I'm lucky that I still have some of my intelligence.  He told me IQ doesn't change, but processing speed can change and slow down.  I guess that's why I learn better with reading than listening.  I also like to write things down as I'm reading.

Blah, I'm rambling.  I'm still a little dizzy, but I'm feeling semi-normal now, so I guess I'll go try to do that run that I was talking about before it gets too hot :)

Running Update and Advice Needed!

I'm starting to think it is impossible for me to run without injuries.  But, I love running too much to give it up... It's my drug of choice.  Besides, it's really the only way I can get out - with being unable to drive and whatnot.  I guess if I'm going to do something that may or may not have negative consequences, I'll take running.  Besides, it's not that bad... I usually give it a rest before it gets REALLY bad (unlike back in my marathon team days when I didn't even know what a chronic injury was because I never had one, so I just COMPLETELY ignored it and kept running six days a week).  Anyway, I did a long run on Saturday (did I all ready post about that?) and a recovery run/walk on Sunday that was like 3.1 miles, then I took Monday off.  I decided I was going to run fast'ish on Tuesday.  BAM.  Extra knee pain, despite the fact that I've been good about my physical therapy exercises/stretches and have awesome prescription strength anti inflammatory creams and whatnot (that ARE helping, by the way).  I think I've figured out that running fast is the worst for my knee, and I can't really figure out why... Maybe because I lift my legs higher when I run faster?  I don't know.  But I've noticed my knee always hurts the worst not after long runs, but after races or workouts where I'm running fast (last time it sparked was after a 5K run where I actually set a personal best, ah!)  So maybe I should cut out all speed work?  But it's so hard!  I LIKE running fast sometimes, just like I LIKE racing!  But maybe I should just work on distance ONLY while I train for my marathon.  I may see more improvements in my marathon speed if I can just CONSISTENTLY train and build mileage rather than running speedy sometimes then having to stop again for days at a time.  It's not even muscle soreness stopping me (I rarely get muscle soreness anymore, just IT band pain).  Though I do still need to run a two-mile for the Army Physical Fitness Test, and that DOES require some speed.  Also I'll be running a leg for a "triathlon" we're doing here (it will only be 1.5 miles).

 It's not my shoes, because it doesn't matter what shoes I wear... When I first got this injury, I was wearing bulky shoes.  Now I wear minimal shoes, and I still got this injury.  I have like six pairs of running shoes, actually, and it really makes zero difference in my IT band pain.  I'm fairly light too - under 110 pounds - so my weight has nothing to do with anything either.  Not running at all is just a band aid.  I can stop, and it feels better, but then it springs back up.

 Anyway, what do all of you runners think I should do about this nagging, irritating injury?  Anything I did not yet mention?  

Good and Bad News Updates

Just an update for my followers.  I have some good and bad (well, depending on how you look at it) news.  

I guess I'll cover the good news first.  I got to spend a fantastic weekend with the boyfriend up north in Montreal.  What an awesome city!  It reminded me a lot of Portland with all the coffee shops and whatnot.  And there were people protesting naked outside our hotel.  That reminded me of Portland because Portland hosts an annual Naked Bikeride.  Ah Portland, how I miss thee in all your weird randomness.  

Second good piece of news is I've been back to running again.  I took a week off which helped with some of my issues, though the knee still has tightness.  I got some weird patches (iontophoresis) with a corticosteroid for my knee to act as an anti inflammatory.  The patches basically push the medication into my skin in a way similar to an injection, except there's no needle, so no tissue damage.  Plus I can do it on my own at home a few times a week.  They seem to be helping along with the break I took, which is also helping with my performance (I feel a lot better than I did).  Went for a nice seven mile trail run in Montreal on Mont Royale, which ALSO reminded me a lot of Portland.  It was a lot like Forest Park for those of you familiar with the area.  I just realized recently that the half marathon I signed up for prior to my full is in less than three weeks.  I didn't realize it was so soon!  That means I need to try to get a longer run in prior to the race!  I have decided, however, that if my knee is giving me trouble then I will forego the half marathon... Right now the goal is the marathon, and I need to keep myself as injury-free as possible for that.  And races are always what do me in injury-wise.  I'd rather get more hurt running the marathon that I'm raising money for rather than get hurt in an intermediate race, ya know :)  Actually I'd rather not get hurt at all, but beggars can't be choosers (I don't know if that really applies here, but who knows).  

Now for the bad news.  I may be getting medically boarded for my epilepsy, since I have an actual diagnosis rather than random seizures... Now, they may decide that I can stay in, but it's a matter of a few things.  First they need to look at how well my seizures are controlled, would I be in danger if I was stuck somewhere in combat and didn't have access to medication, and if the Army really needs me or not.  My job isn't particularly dangerous, but I guess I could still get caught in a dangerous situation.  Fortunately I may get to transfer closer to home in the Northwest while they go through this whole process, which would be awesome because the process is nine months to a year.   I am pretty alone up here, and frankly it kind of sucks.  The few people I do know who I can hangout with actually have work and whatnot, and I don't like having to ask for rides constantly, as I still cannot drive.  At least where I might be going I would be close to family, and there is public transportation.  I wouldn't be stuck in the middle of nowhere with no support system.  I have the internet, but it isn't quite the same as having people nearby.  If I do move, I'll probably need to fly here for the marathon, which is a bit of a bummer, but I wouldn't be the first person to fly for a marathon :)  

Speaking of the marathon  - I'm sure everyone is getting tired of hearing about it, but I really need some more sponsors!  I'm up to 35% of my goal (350 dollars), and I need $1,000.  If you can get the word out to others or sponsor with just a little bit, I'd really appreciate it!  I still have a few months to go, so I'm not TOO worried just yet, but I'd like to get some more sponsors :)  If you can/are willing to help sponsor me, the link is here:

https://epilepsytherapyproject.myetap.org/fundraiser/2012PHLMarathon/individual.do?participationRef=3917.0.286558349

Alas, today is my off-day and I'm not sure what to do with myself, so I think I may read a book.  Everyone have a wonderful day!

Nina