Rough Week

I'm not going to lie... This has been a rough week in several respects.  The first thing was being evac'ed out of Afghanistan (nothing like regaining consciousness while you're being put on an ambulance)... Then getting diagnosed with epilepsy and told I can't drive for the next few months or handle a weapon for the next year.   But I can only say I'm lucky that that is the reason why I was being rolled onto an ambulance and evacuated out of Afghanistan.  Some of the people being evacuated out had missing limbs... As much as I wanted to feel sorry for myself, I could not, because I realize I'm actually lucky (even though I still would much rather be deployed with my fellow soldiers right now).

I found out last night that our first classmate from my graduating class was killed in action in Afghanistan.  We've been graduated for less than a year... Like any good West Point graduate, I automatically went and looked at his Facebook and saw a wall post from who I presume was his mother who asked him to call her - very much like what my own family would post on my wall.  To be honest, I have spent quite some time in tears.  I was involved in OCF (Officer's Christian Fellowship) with this fellow graduate, and we have known each other for quite some time - since our freshman year at West Point.  He was on battalion staff when I was on regimental staff, so we did work together some, and I knew him socially as well, though we didn't hangout all that often.  He wasn't a popular guy, but he was a good guy, and I can't believe he's gone.  This just hit too close to home... And now I'm in tears again.  I'm sure these anti-seizure meds they have me on aren't helping matters any, as they tend to cause me to be emotional (these are the same meds they put me on a couple years ago).  It's hard to see your own classmates who had the same hopes and dreams as you being killed at such a young age.  Without getting political, I can't say I'll be disappointed when we pull out of Afghanistan.  Even though I was glad I had the honor to serve over there, and I'm really disappointed I got pulled out early (I was only there for about a month before I had to leave), I don't want to see anymore of my fellow soldiers killed over there... These people who had friends and family and hopes and dreams just like me and the people I'm closest to.

That is all I have to say for now... I know this fellow soldier is in a better place now, and I pray for those closest to him who have lost a great guy.  Be Thou at Peace.

Well, that was quick: My Return from Afghanistan

So this post will be a slightly personal post... Just because I know I have a lot of people wandering what the hell happened to me, and I'd rather just post a blog so everyone knows rather than people trying to figure it out on their own.

All right, so what did happen to me?  Well, I had a seizure while I was in Afghanistan.  So I got med-evaced out of Afghanistan, and am currently in Germany.  Someone apparently walked in on me while I was in the midst of the seizure, and I guess I hit my head on the U.S. flag near my desk, because now I have a nice gash on the top of my forehead, and there was a bit of blood around me (or so I hear).

  For those of you who don't know, this is not my first seizure... I actually had a seizure back in 2010... well, actually, I had two, but they were both within a couple of hours of each other.  The difference between now and then is that my last one was the first one, and because my tests all came back normal, the docs attributed it to pills I was taking.  Well, this time I wasn't taking any pills, and I wasn't really sleep deprived.  Plus, I'd had an "aura" prior to this one... Auras are a weird feeling that a lot of people get prior to having seizures, and are actually mini-seizures in themselves, but they generally do not manifest themselves.  I've had several auras in the past couple of years (especially in the past year), but they have never turned into anything, so I've been able to ignore them.  Well, this time the aura was particularly intense, and someone whose soldier actually has seizures walked into the office while I was having it.  I did not, however, think it would turn into anything because I'd had several auras that turned into nothing.... Well, I guess I was wrong, because here I am...

Saw a neurologist, and I had another EEG (they hook a machine up to your brain and graph your brain waves to look for anything unusual), and this time it actually showed up as abnormal (last time everything was normal).  So, because this was not my first seizure, and because I'd had several auras, and because of the abnormal brain waves on the EEG, I was diagnosed with epilepsy.  With that diagnosis comes medicine... The same crap they put me on the LAST time I had a seizure (but they let me go off of it because I hadn't had any issues)... Some of the side effects include moodiness, fatigue, dizziness, and other fun side effects.  So, I don't know if I'm slightly jet lagged or it's the meds, but I am EXTREMELY out of it today.  I pretty much feel like I'm walking around in a haze... And frankly, I feel stoned.  Fortunately I'm not feeling particularly moody - probably because I'm too out of it to care.   

Anyways, so now begins treatment for epilepsy... I'm all ready dreading the meds... Particularly in my current drugged state of mind.   Fortunately, I am wiser now... UNfortunately, this means I do not get to return to Afghanistan :(  I was there all of a month... and now I'm done.  I am dreading going back to work back in the states, while also not being able to drive for the next three months... It is extremely difficult to get around while being unmarried and living alone somewhere that does not believe in public transportation.  Not to mention the fact that I won't have a real position because I was SUPPOSED to be in Afghanistan... But, I'm going to try to remain positive, because everything happens for a reason, correct?  I mean... This DID happen in Afghanistan, and it could have happened anywhere, at anytime... heck, it could have happened while I was in my room, and nobody would have seen it.  These are the things I'm trying to keep in mind...

Alas, I should sleep now.  Speaking of weird deja vu feelings... I'm feelin' em now!  (I think it has to do more with being in Germany again, though!) 

Love,
Nina

P.S.  To the people who send support and whatnot to the soldiers - thank you!  I am with the warrior transition soldiers, and the support is amazing here, even if I was not hurt in combat.  The free blankets, clothes, food, etc. are such morale boosters.  Though I know things could be so much worse (I could actually be hurt), it is really hard being away from my unit and the soldiers I work with, and the support is helping a lot. 

Cultural Sensitivity and Male/Female Soldiers

This blog entry is going to be some thoughts based on the recent interaction I've had with large groups of combat arms soldiers in all-male units.  Just some opinions I've had recently, and I know they could be completely off, and I really have no scientific evidence/research to back any of these thoughts with, but I like to speculate... 

First, I have to say I had forgotten how different it is being surrounded by males, as my branch has quite a few females... In my current unit, we are almost 50% female, which is quite rare in the Army.   I have to say, the dynamic is quite different in our unit as opposed to all-male units.  The dynamic in our unit between males/females is probably more similar to what you would see in a civilian work place.  You have some men and women who are just hard to get along with and are inconsiderate, no matter what, but from what I have seen,  people are not as rowdy/disrespectful/blatantly sexist/inconsiderate in units with a higher percentage of females (at least not around me!)   Of course, I have never been in an all-male unit, but I did spend four years in a male-dominated military academy (ahem, only 15% of our student population were women), which is pretty darn close to all males.  I don't think I realized it as much as a cadet,  because I thought that maybe male cadets were just a rowdier bunch than most men, but based on what I've seen, it would seem most men just act completely different when they are surrounded by almost nothing but other men.

 I bring this up because recently I have been around quite a few all/mostly male units, and the way they act is quite similar to the way cadets tended to act.  They tend to be rowdy, don't seem to care at all that there are at least a couple of women around when they talk about sex/women in general, and are generally much less considerate of other people.  One of the other female lieutenants in my unit and I were talking about it while we were on the bus with several guys, and it got me thinking of all the recent issues we've had with Soldiers doing things on deployment that aren't exactly conducive to building strong relationships and building good impressions (ahem... burning Qurans/massacring civilians/etc.)... And I have to wonder, would it be different if there were more females in these types of units? In the military in general? It's not that women don't do things that are completely wrong - I mean, look at Abu Ghraib, and women sure can be mean if they want to - but if you had more of them around and people (or men, because they are the majority of the military) were forced to deal with a different "culture" (women) on a regular basis, would it make any difference in their actions? If they were forced to be more sensitive to other people on a regular basis, would it be easier for them to relate to a foreign culture?  I'm not saying just a couple of women scattered around, as West Point DID have women, but the men STILL acted different from what I've seen in units that have larger percentages of women, but a force where women are the norm, rather than the exception.  Even when I was enlisted, when I was on a temporary duty with ALL guys, they started acting much rowdier/raunchier than how they acted when they were around a higher percentage of women.  These guys were decent men who treated their families well, and when they were in a normal setting, were considerate people, but I will tell you what, they had me pretty upset, and I have fairly tough skin.  They felt pretty terrible when they realized it too, but because they didn't really think about it (being around a bunch of people just like themselves), they kept building off of each other to the point where their "jokes" got pretty bad (not directed at me persay, but I was THERE).  And these guys weren't even in COMBAT... there was no stress of bullets flying... they were just a bunch of dudes spending 12-16 hours a day together working, with only a couple of females around.

So, I guess what I am curious about is whether or not increasing the percentage of women in the Army - in combat units, more specifically - would reduce some of the types of issues that we have had with cultural insensitivities?  I know we have female engagement teams that deal with local women, but what about having more females in male units in general?  I realize that the same reasons a higher percentage of women would be good for the military could also present other challenges such as distractions and new logistical considerations, and I also realize my examples are not entirely relevant, as both units I have been in were non-combat units, so the stressors are different.  However, seeing the similarities between how males in all-male units act compared with how cadets at West Point acted (who also had no combat stress, and many of them wouldn't have to worry about it for a few years) makes me question how having more women would influence culturally sensitive behavior in male soldiers.  

Minimal Running and Injury Prevention

So, can anyone tell what I spend my Sunday nights at home doing when I don't have to work the next day?  Hehe.  Anyways, I'm about to talk about some reasons why I'm glad I've transitioned into more minimal shoes/more natural running style.

Today was the longest distance I have done in quite awhile (over a year), and while the last time I did the same distance (18 miles)  I was wearing "conventional" shoes and orthotics, and based on my running history, I think it was probably only a matter of time before I ended up hurt again.  I remember one of my friends at West Point running with me once and telling me I was probably getting injured all the time because I slammed my feet onto the ground - she was remarking on how loud I was when I ran.  I remember saying it probably had something to do with the insoles I was wearing... and that they made me run different  (I think I was suffering from plantar fasciitis at the time).  And I thought they were HELPING, ha.  Funny to look back on the fact that I said that and look at what I know now about running and injuries.  Also interesting when I look back on the fact I used to run 50-60 miles per week without injury, but when people I ran with noticed I was running "on my toes" and were telling me that I needed to run heel to toe that is when I got and stayed injured...

I will say that transitioning did cause me some injuries - though nothing that stopped me from running for a long time.  I got that tendinitis in my right foot right when I switched to my first pair of more minimal shoes, the Saucony Kinvaras... My feet weren't used to doing so much, I guess.  I went and ran 7 miles in them the day I bought them - 3.5 uphill, and 3.5 downhill, lol.   Once I worked more on having a lighter landing and got used to the shoes, that injury went away, and I haven't had any more issues with it.  The next injury was my hip thing... I'm not really sure what that one came from, but I think I'm probably doing something wrong when it comes to form (and too much speed/hill work... even with proper form, too much too soon can cause problems!)   I think it also has something to do with the fact I supinate a lot (run on the outside of my foot)... All the wear on my shoes is on the outer forefoot area... When I notice myself doing it, I try to roll my ankle in a bit more when I'm running

 The good news is that unlike the injuries I was getting when I was running in conventional shoes/heel-to-toe/etc., I can STILL run!  I might take a couple of days off if something doesn't seem right, but I don't have to take MONTHS off.   And, I have found that once I focus on form while running if I notice something hurting, it hurts less.  Today, for example, my left knee was starting to hurt after about 14-15 miles.  I think beyond just the general stress of running on slanted pavement for 15 miles that I was starting to hurt because I was heel striking/over-striding a bit.  I started focusing on running with smoother/lighter steps, and keeping my stride short, and the pain was less-pronounced, and after the run my knees weren't hurting at all (but my legs sure are!  Haha).  I still need to figure out why the heck the left side of my shoe is the side most worn out, and why my left side just keeps being the one getting beat up, but I think it might have something to do with running on slanted roads... I try to run in the middle when possible, but unfortunately, even in the country, there are cars :)

ANYWAYS, my point is that most of my issues now are fairly easy for me to fix once I focus on form.  Like my calve tightness, which from what I've been reading, can also cause top of the foot pain (no, I don't have a stress fracture - there is no pain at all to the touch, it just comes and goes as it please)... I have learned that that is because I tend to push off with my toes when I am speeding up instead of letting my core/upper legs do most of the work... My lower legs should be "along for the ride" instead of doing the work.  Sprinting form just doesn't work for 2 hour runs.   Once I allow my lower body to relax, I don't have the same issues.  I wish I could run fully barefoot, as I have heard that it gives you the BEST feedback (apparently my toes would be getting blisters if I was pushing off with them barefoot), but I'm too chicken to do it when it's 20 degrees outside (frost bite, anyone?), and I need to build up to it... and I kinda lack patience, hehe... I did do it at the track a couple of weeks ago though :)

So what I am saying in this blog is that if you find yourself struggling with injuries, you should try some more minimal shoes.  But you still need to focus on form... Minimal running is not a cure all, but it sure helps fix form problems, which will in turn fix injury problems.  I would say it's also really important to be in tune with your body and learn what causes certain types of twinges/pain.  I know if I over stride that my knees start to hurt, so I try to focus more on shorter, faster strides.  OH, and if you do transition, do so slowly!  You can still fix form problems in regular shoes, but it's a LOT easier to do it in more minimal shoes.  I have a friend who knows a bit about form, and I commented that he was heel striking like crazy during a run... He said he knew, but that it was hard NOT to heel strike in his conventional shoes that he was wearing.

I would also recommend reading Chi Running if you are interested in learning more about form.  There are books on Pose and Evolution running as well, but I have not read them, though I've gone to a class on Pose, and that is what my physical therapist worked with me on when I was suffering from tendinitis in my right foot.  From what I've learned about Pose and Chi methods, Chi seems to be best for long distance running, and pose seems like would be best for shorter/faster running.  I don't know much about Evolution method... I do know they are all similar though.

Alas, I hope I can provide some information for those people who might be suffering from injuries of different types!  I know I am no expert on injury prevention, as evidenced by my constant stream of them, but I have at least learned through my mistakes different ways to help fix them, and how to avoid being sidelined for months/years like I was back when I was running in conventional shoes and heel striking (it really was about three years of different injuries before I was able to start long distance running again).  

Thoughts from yearling (sophomore) year of college!

So I was randomly going through an old blog of mine (Myspace... HAHAHA... I don't even know how I ended up over there) and I found the following entry. It's funny to look back on how I actually did develop some positive thought processes while at West Point (and the military in general, I suppose)... I think being a distance runner also helps :) Anyways, what's also funny about this entry is I wrote this blog on the same day as another really cynical blog (I might post it if my readers want it!) I also find it interesting how concerned I was with "standards" back then... Not so much standards in the military sense (like, what our uniforms should look like), but more so in regards to societal standards. For example, the time I got in trouble for drinking on a trip, and our officer in charge told me women and men have "a different set of standards" (in regards to my going to a bar... apparently it's more acceptable when a guy does it... even if it's against the rules for both groups as a cadet). I read somewhere around three entries in a row discussing my opinions on the topic. I guess it's still something I care about, but I think being surrounded by a certain opinion for so long as to how people should act/dress caused me to spend an awful lot of my time thinking about (especially when it was drilled into our heads ALL.  THE.  TIME.)  ... Seeing as I tend toward thinking into everything. Anyways, without further adieu....

A few thoughts....

So, just a few things I've thought about lately.

One of which being that as much as I wish that sometimes I could just sit down for awhile, I think I also thrive off of the busyness of this place. I like coming from academics, to going for a run and getting in a light lift, to coming back, showering, and doing school work. Of course, this is when I'm feeling rested and refreshed. It pulls me down at times, but at other times I feel more accomplished... more so than I would if I was at another school, I think. I know I'm not the only cadet who feels this way. I've talked to quite a few that, all though they often wish they were at a regular college, they feel like the discipline helps them excel.

Another, one thing I've learned while being here, and in the military in general, is mental toughness. I've come to learn that everything that sucks will eventually come to an end... at least in training. I tell myself that during every biathlon race when I'm running up the ridiculous hills, and it helps... I told myself that during Buckner when I struggled through ruck marches, and I tell myself that every bad day that I'm here. I've gone through enough bad days to realize that they all end eventually... even bad weeks, bad months, and heck... bad years (last year pretty much sucked the entire time). It's nice to know, that if I learn nothing else while I'm here, I've learned how to persevere through really bad times... Now, if I could keep the good attitude DURING those really bad times :)

Love,

Nina

Work and Marathon training

I suppose it has been awhile since my last update... It would seem I don't have too many important/meaningful things to say as of lately (at least not online), so I will just make this an update on life :)

To be honest, life has pretty much consisted of work and running the past few weeks.  We spent a week doing a training exercise (which, by the way, in the world of Finance was NOT outside, but in an office building - can't complain about that!)  I always learn the most about my job during exercises.  I know this was my first time doing one of these in my current job, but when I was enlisted, that was how I became so good at my job: going to constant exercises and learning by doing.  It really is the best way.  Anyway, I have also found that my background in computers is quite useful to learning how to work with the systems we work with in this job.  Granted, I didn't do much on this exercise in regards to systems, but I did more than I get to do on a regular basis!  Anyways, I was home for a week, and I'm leaving AGAIN tomorrow... but THIS time, I'll be staying in a fancy hotel in Boston, and instead of days that are 12 hours, my days will be 8-9 hours :)  Again, I can't complain!  And, being the running nerd that I am, I have started looking up running routes.  Unfortunately, I will be working during most daylight hours, but FORTUNATELY the sun is coming up earlier these days... Oh, and there will be treadmills at the hotel, so I can run at any hour!

Speaking of running, marathon training is going reasonably well!  Oh wait, have I even talked about that on here?  I'm not even sure... I WAS going to do a 50-miler (it's a part of the same event as the marathon) before they added the marathon to the event, but once they added the marathon, I decided it would be wise for me to finish 26.2 before I tackle 50.  So far, I have managed to mostly stave off my usual flood of injuries.  My hip has been giving me some trouble, and the top of my left foot has had a little weirdness (it was uncomfortable for a couple of weeks a couple of months ago and went away, and today it feels a little funny too), BUT, so far, nothing has been bad to where I need to stop, and when I DO feel something that doesn't seem right, I take it easy, which I think is helping.  The hip thing is muscular (piriformis), and it's just annoying, but it is not a bone/tendon related thing, and it goes off and on, whether I run or not... Sitting on a massage ball seems to make it better too, so that has been manageable.  The foot thing... I have no idea.  I read somewhere that it is related to shoes being too tight, so I started lacing my shoes up differently, which I think actually helped it go away last time.  I'm not sure why it's bothering me now, but now that I think about it, I got a new pair of shoes and didn't lace them up differently, and I did 10 miles yesterday in them.  Hmmm... :)   Anyways, I did 16 last week without many issues (knees definitely hurt a bit during the run, but that's normal - as long as there's no pain AFTERward, I'm good!)

Speaking of the long run... I've been doing the Galloway walk-run method for my long runs, and I really like it!  Not only does it help me get through the long runs with less pain, but it aids in a quicker recovery.  After the 16-miler, I wasn't too sore or tired (I used to be really tired/drained after my long runs), and I was able to do eight miles two days later, and a track workout the day after that.  After my 14-miler, I COULD have run the next day.  Keep in mind, I haven't done any of these distances in a really long time... The last time I did 16 was over a year ago, so that quick recovery was definitely related to doing the walk breaks (I do a minute for every mile).  Of course, I can't help but wonder what I'll do ON the marathon.  If I actually follow Galloway's method, I'll be doing the walk/run for the marathon... I think I will walk some, but I don't know how frequently or for how long!  It's very hard for me to walk during a race that isn't a trail race (other than when I go through the water stations... I always walk those), but from what I've been reading, it's a good strategy on the marathon when most people are fine for awhile and then bonk.  The method also states that once you get to mile 18 or so, if you are feeling good, you can cut out the walk breaks and pick up the pace.  Sounds like how I usually run :)   Anyone have experience with this? I'd be interested to know how it turned out for you!  


Anyways, it's needless to say I'm really excited with my progress and I REALLY hope I can actually make it to marathon day this time.  I have a half marathon coming up in a couple of weeks, and I think that will give me somewhat of a gauge as to where I am.  This will be half marathon number 7, by the way!  I don't expect it to be a PR of any type... For one, the weather here in February is not exactly optimal!  Granted, it's far better than the 90 degrees/90 percent humidity down in South Carolina, but 15-20 degrees isn't exactly great race weather either!  I also don't want to kill myself on the half and not recover in time for my other training (i.e., my up and coming 20 miler that is actually supposed to be the week of the half... but I think I'll need to change that if I'm going to be racing a half marathon!)  Fortunately, the race is still two months away and I'm up to a 16-mile long run, so I have plenty of time to get in those twenty-milers.

And, if I want to get in a run before I head out tomorrow, I should get some sleep.  So, good night readers :)

Nina

Training Errors

As usual, I have managed to acquire a bit of a tinge that is bothering me (piriformis... again).  Go figure, I did a twelve-miler for the first time in months (though I had previously done two runs of 10-11 miles), and THEN on Friday our commander had us do a 4-mile run for time.  My time was actually really slow considering I normally do that pace on regular runs when I'm barely pushing the pace...  but after the twelve-miler, and with the cold/snow and that really uncomfortable and bulky winter physical training uniform we have to wear, the effort felt pretty hard.  And my lungs were burning afterward, SO, I'm not surprised at all that my hip/glute is hurting me again.  I took today off from running... even though I really didn't want to because I had to take a week off the week before last because of that gum surgery, but I'm trying to avoid further injury.  Anyways, some things I think I need to do so I stop hurting myself:

1) I need to not worry about what other people are thinking.  I'm going to start incorporating walk breaks into my longer runs... At the end of that last long run, I felt pretty beat up, and it wasn't even a race.  Normally my legs don't hurt WHILE I'm running unless it's a race.  Well, they were hurting at the end of that long run.  That's telling me that the pace was too fast.  It sucks, though, when you're on an infantry post... and I HATE HATE HATE stereotypes about how women are lazy/out of shape/shouldn't be in the Army, blah blah blah.  I think that tends to make me push harder... which is good for some things, but not so much when I'm doing a long run and trying to increase endurance.  So, I need to stop thinking about what other people are thinking and slow down.  And take walk breaks early on (I was reading Galloway's running method... and even though he PERSONALLY came to West Point when I was on the marathon team and talked to us about it, it didn't make much sense to me then... reading it now, it makes sense).  Anyway, I think SPEED is what keeps killing me, not distance.

2) Not think so much about miles for the week... My mileage is actually pretty low compared to a lot of runners.  I try to average around 30 miles per week, which really isn't high at all, and I think I could easily increase that IF I slow down.

3) Remember to do my strengthening exercises... Yeah... I am working on that one.  It seems I only remember to do them when I'm actually injured.  But when every physical therapist tells me "You have weak hips and that's why you keep getting hurt!"  I guess I need to keep up my exercises when I'm NOT hurt.

I guess the list isn't extensive, but looking back, those seem to be my biggest training errors.  I don't think I've been guilty of too much too soon in a very long time. At least not when it comes to distance... I increase my distances pretty safely.  It's the speed and hills that seem to hurt me.  And not speed WORKOUTS, but running my regular runs too fast...   And while I haven't had an injury that's REALLY put me out since I started running in more minimal shoes/working on running form, I keep getting these random injuries that slow me down by making me stop for a week or so at a time.  

I will admit though... as much as I really really detest wearing that terrible winter physical training uniform for my long runs (seriously, it really sucks... it's like wearing bags on my legs/upper body), I like doing my long runs for PT in the morning since we are now in the process of marathon training.  That way I don't have to spend my weekends doing it :)  I can go for a leisurely 6-8 mile run or something instead of taking hours for a run.  It's quite nice :)

Love,
Nina