Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Okay so this is starting to freak me out

That deja vu I was talking about has gotten bad today.  Like REALLY bad, and then I've had several really dizzy spells followed by "out of body" feelings.  It probably wouldn't freak me out so much except I had a seizure once last February, and this is how I felt before my last seizure.  After that last entry I wrote, I went to a briefing for a class (in the same place I had my last seizure), and I got that really weird feeling I was talking about and told Amber, who was sitting next to me.  I got up and walked to the restroom and rinsed my face with cold water and was okay for awhile until my next class, where I had to go and do the same thing.  It went away and then just now I tried to sleep and I felt the same weird deja vu followed by dizziness, and I got up.  I realized that I was doing the same thing early this morning, or maybe I wasn't... and now I'm just going nuts, lol.  No, not really.  Like I told Mel: if I was going crazy, I wouldn't actually realize it.  Hopefully a good nights sleep tonight will help :)  I'm also going to get dinner at the Firstie.  I don't know about much alcohol if my body is freaking out on me, but maybe a couple of drinks will wind me down (I feel like I'm bouncing off the walls right now, which makes no sense because I only slept like 3 hours last night - if even that much).  Haha, and people wonder why I say I need a lot of sleep!  This is like the third time a severe lack of sleep has caused me to feel this way, but the other times the doc attributed it to diet pills, which I did not take this time.  I dunno if it was the pills that did not so much as the fact I took them when I was really tired to try to keep going, and I'm really tired now. 

Okay, I'm done for now :) 


Deja Vu... (or is it Vous?)

Do you ever get these random recurring thoughts and you cannot for the life of you figure out where they came from?  I guess they are sort of like deja vu, but they make no sense.  In deja vu you might feel like you've been somewhere before... But, it's not a fact of where I've BEEN, it's what I've supposedly done, but it makes no sense.   You think maybe the thoughts MUST have come from a dream in order to KEEP having them, but you don't remember any such dream?  So this keeps happening to me these past couple of weeks.  I keep thinking that something happened, but it didn't, because it makes no sense whatsoever that it could have possibly happened.  I think the cumulative effects of sleep deprivation must be hitting me hardcore right now.  Or maybe I'm just going crazy.  Too much caffeine + not enough sleep + other various factors = a very strange combination.

Alas, I should finish this Law homework that's due in a few short hours... They say there is no minimum word count, but the maximum is 1800.  I have 1,520 words right now.  I know they (they being the Law department... tricky graders they are) SAY there is no minimum.  But really, the Army also has minimum scores for the APFT, but if you get that score, you're actually sucking.  I think the same goes for papers...  I feel that I'm missing something if I have over 200 words UNDER the minimum.  *Sigh*.


Monday, March 28, 2011

And the results are....

Two miles in 14:25 (really the only thing I cared about), 90 situps in two minutes, and 53 pushups in two minutes.  The pushups have decreased since the summer... I guess because I've been working more on running and less on strength.  The two mile time, however, is the best I've done for the physical fitness test :)  I mean, I've run faster than that on a track (well, a 12:50 3000 meter... which would've likely equated to a 13-something minute two mile).   So, I'm overall pretty happy!  I'm also happy because that was the LAST APFT I have to take as a cadet :)  Meaning, last graded physical requirement that I needed to pass to graduate!  WOOOHOOO!  :)  <---- see, lots of smiles.  I'm happy!  Hehe. 

Next up... Law homework due tomorrow... bleh, followed by a ten-mile trail race on Saturday, several assignments due next week, crown lengthening surgery on the 6th, and then the rest of my wisdom teeth the following week.  And then of course more assignments, and the West Point Half Marathon on the 23rd :)  BUSY MONTH!  In a good way, of course, because it means I'm even closer to graduation.  BOOM!  Okay, now I have to get to our weekly staff meeting :/ 


Thursday, March 24, 2011

Random Update

I suppose I should update since I haven't since Sunday.  Really that is not a long time, but I feel like it is right now.  If you're a cadet, you'll probably get really bored if you read my next paragraph, so I'd suggest skipping it.

I've been busy with school and my job, which right now involves planning a BBQ for our regiment (about 1,000 people) and getting beer for the BBQ.  At West Point this is exponentially more difficult than any other university.  Why?  Because first, we cannot store alcohol in our rooms, we can not store alcohol in our vehicles, and we cannot usually have alcohol in the cadet area AT ALL unless we get all sorts of approval.  So to get that approved I had to come up with a "concept of operation" to show how I would monitor alcohol consumption to make sure there were no underage drinkers, and so on so forth.  Luckily, the officers in charge of our regiment are actually pretty realistic about this stuff and don't make it that difficult for me to do my job.  There's been this along with several meetings about such things as safety in the Army when we are lieutenants (most boring brief EVER, by the way), and the policy implications of repealing Don't Ask Don't Tell... I also need to put several flyers on our tables before dinner tonight advertising the blood drive we have next week.  Fortunately, I got a couple of people to help me so I don't have to do 400 tables alone :) 

Otherwise, let's see... running, yes, always running, except yesterday and possibly today.  I beat up my body pretty bad last week... not so much with high mileage, because I didn't really run THAT many miles, but more with the type of running I did.  My trail run was on 12.5 miles of hills, in snow, wearing a camelbak with some extra layers in it, so I was a bit weighed down... I actually did several hilly runs last week, along with that hike, and then on Monday, while still sore from the week before, I did a 4-mile run as fast as I could... or as fast as I could without running at a race pace.  I did it in 31:30, so a 7:52 minute mile pace.  I know that isn't that fast, BUT... for me, that's the fastest I'd ever run four miles, and I wasn't even racing, I was just running.  Then Tuesday I ran 8 miles.  So, yesterday I was limping because my left calf had a bit of a cramp, and today it's not bad, but it's a little sore still, so I'm trying to decide if I should give myself another day off, or just do a slow 4-mile run.  I think I'm leaning toward another day off, it won't kill me to rest, and I would regret it if I hurt myself.  Plus I'm tired and have other stuff to do...

We also have a physical fitness test on Monday, which involves running 2 miles as fast as we can, so I'm KIND of taking it easy this week since if we don't pass we don't graduate on time.  Of course, I've never even COME CLOSE to not passing... I mean, I can pass the guy's scale, and I pass ours by like 4.5 minutes, so I don't think it would be an issue to pass, but I would like to run a sub 14:30, so giving myself a little break might be good :) FOLLOWING the two-mile race, I have a ten-mile trail race on the 2nd of April.  My 3rd 10-mile trail race this year (academic year), haha.  But this time it won't be covered in snow.  Hooray!  I'm excited, as I always am about racing.  I would like to do some longer ones, but all the ones in my abilities right now (probably upto about 15'ish miles at the moment) are on training weekends.  There IS a half marathon coming up here in April that I'm going to sign up for :)  It is two weeks after my wisdom teeth are removed, so as long as I don't get dry socket, I should be good to go, though I will have taken a week off from running.  But again, even a week off won't kill me, as I discovered after I got that one random tooth removed followed by my eye surgery that kept me out of fitness for two weeks. 

I guess I have nothing deep or inspiring to talk about today.  Too much work and school work to allow myself to think creatively.  Though I did play my flute for awhile last night :)  It was quite therapeutic, especially since I didn't get a run in, which usually eases things up for me. 

ANNDD.  Nap time!


Sunday, March 20, 2011


On going back, that is... I don't want to go back :(  I'm only a few hours from school, and really I could wait another 3-4 hours to leave and still have plenty of time, and I finished packing awhile ago.  I wasn't even going to wake up for almost another hour, but then I woke up around 8 (and was up til 2 reading), and I started thinking about everything I had to get done and couldn't fall back asleep...  oh and the birds chirping quite loudly outside my window didn't help... and then I saw how lovely it was outside, and I REALLY couldn't sleep.  Quite a bummer since I will be going back to school with dark circles under my eyes.  They had finally disappeared and I looked so alive for once!  I guess West Point + looking awake just don't go together.  You can compare them to oil and water.  Oh I so want to graduate!  I'm so tired of the constant pressure of that place.   I know life is pressure, and I've lived in the "real world," but knowing someone can come to my room anytime between 5:20 in the morning  and 11:30 p.m. and tell me they need me to do something is just too constant.  That's why this break was so nice :)  Mountains, fresh air, actually reading my own books, sleeping as late as I want... nobody telling me what to do/where to go... SOOOO nice! 

I suppose I SHOULD completely finish packing though and head out... I can always take a nap at school, and then go for a run... though this bed is SO much more inviting with its big fluffy comforter and six big fluffy pillows. Okay I'm done :)


Thursday, March 17, 2011

NOT getting wasted on St. Patty's Day???

Some of you may notice that there is now a "19" under a mileage tracker to the left.  Well, I joined Dailymile, and that is my mileage as of Tuesday when I joined.  I thought it would be a cool way to motivate myself, though I haven't gotten any comments on my... two... entries :)  Today was about seven miles, the first portion was uphill, but the rest was downhill.  My legs were still quite sore from my trail 12-miler the other day.  Man, I can't wait until 12 miles STOPS being the point when I start hurting.  Even when I was training for the marathon, I got sore after about 12 miles.  And then the last 4-6 would just SUCK.  I suspect maybe I was running too fast, but slowing down didn't seem to help.  Maybe I just need to get my weekly mileage up... I was at 35 miles per week before I got injured, and that was with an 18 mile long run.  Now I'm around 25-30 miles per week for the past few weeks, but my longest run has been 12 miles, so I've upped my weekly mileage while decreasing my long run. 
So the plan for the next couple of days... tomorrow, drive out to a lovely little reservoir and go run (I think).  It's supposed to be 61 :)  I know for those of you who are in warm, tropical places (or were, in the case that you read this AFTER Spring Break is over), that doesn't seem terribly warm.  However, for me, that is quite warm!  Actually during today's run, when it was only 55, it felt almost TOO warm in my shorts and t-shirt, which, by the way, it felt GREAT to run in ONLY shorts and a t-shirt without being cold.  Though the allergies that start hitting me in March make breathing a bit difficult... *sigh*...  And sadly it won't be as warm Saturday, but I intend on hiking around one of the mountains near here... probably the one that's a 5-minute drive from where I'm staying (this is the mountain where I ran halfway up the road to get to the trailhead), but perhaps one of the others.  Today I went for a drive - oh how I love having a car that gets AWESOME gas mileage!  I drove out to some of the mountains that were Northwest of where I am staying.  It reminded me of Tahoe, except not as high in elevation, and back when I lived in Tahoe, I used to LOVE going for drives with my family :) 

So I suspect I'm one of few not out getting wasted for St. Patty's Day right now.  Readers, no need to worry that I don't act like a semi-normal college student because I drink plenty when I'm at school, and I drank plenty the last two St. Patty's Days... but this year, I guess I just wasn't feeling the party thing as much.  I suppose because I drink plenty when I'm with my friends at school :)  When I can drink whenever I feel like it, I just don't have the motivation to spend a lot of money to go somewhere else just to drink a lot in another setting.  Besides, most of my friends are scattered among the country/world with their families/various school functions.  I suppose I know enough people that I could have found people who I'm semi-close with to party with in a foreign country, but again... just no motivation to spend thousands of dollars on something I've probably all ready done (keep in mind I lived in Europe for over two years, and travelled quite a bit while I was there).  Honestly, this has been the most rejuvinating and most stress-free Spring Break I've had of my college career.  Besides, I have wine :)

 All right, I suppose I will get back to reading about Vampires.  No, not Twilight, but The Historian.  It's really interesting as it is somewhat of a mystery that involves Dracula and a girl who has gone to find the history of Dracula (Vlad the Impaler) after she finds a mysterious book in a library that her father also found, and his advisor in graduate school ALSO found.  Her father is a historian, hence the title, and he goes searching for the history of Dracula in Istanbul and where Dracula may be burried after his advisor disappears.  See, it's quite interesting.  I did read most of the Twilight series, and this is much more interesting...   And then I need to read Into Thin Air... and then a biography of someone for one of my military classes, and a book about Vietnam, and a self-help book (rather, a book about positive psychology) for my Colloquium class... sigh... the only one I'm looking forward to actually reading out of those is the one for my psychology class, though I think reading about disorders is much more interesting than reading about happy feelings.  Maybe that's why I struggle with my own "happy feelings" lol. 


Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Today's adventure - with pictures!!!

Okay it wasn't REALLY an adventure, but it felt like one :)  I took my new Yaktrax out on the trails today!  For awhile I was doubting whether I needed them, because the first portion of the trails I ran were fairly snow-free.  Luckily, I had asked one of the mailing groups I'm on if they knew the trail conditions, and one of them responded that he'd been on Saturday and that there was indeed snow on the trail.  And there was!  First, about the Yaktrax - for my running readers who might be interested in running in the snow :)

 I actually liked them quite a bit.  I had read a few negative reviews on them... a couple of people said they came off, they didn't grip well, etc.  They worked well for what I was doing, and they were pretty light!  I all ready wear pretty light shoes (the trail version of the Kinvaras), and I didn't have a problem with them.  I also had no problem with them falling off, which may be because I have such small feet that they were not over-stretched on my feet.  I might suggest for someone else who wants to try them to get one size up.  They worked very well on hard-packed snow and ice, not so well on the semi-slushy melted snow.  I just wish I'd had these for my trail race a few weeks ago!

With the Yaktrax on
Secondly I used my Camelbak Octane 18x for the first time on a run... I'd used it on hikes before, but never on a run.  I will say I wasn't terribly impressed.  It was great for hiking, but I just couldn't get it to fit right for the run... But I am glad I brought a larger camelbak, especially if my run would've turned longer, or if I'd added some more hiking.  I was able to fit a fleece shirt, my camera, my cell phone, and I was able to put my Yaktrax in the bag for when I wasn't using it. 

One portion of the trail :)
 Anyways, it was a painful 12'ish miles.  Much more painful than my last twelve mile run.... The combo of the snow, hills (my last trail run was the trail race I did a few weeks ago), Yaktrax, the extra weight of the Camelbak, and still being sore from my last two runs all hit me I think.  And yet I made it, though I didn't think I was going to make it at the end, lol.  That was actually the longest TRAIL run I've done I think since the time I got lost in September and accidentally ran 14 miles, while the intention was for 11 miles (it was supposed to be my first time running that distance since my first injury back in 2007!) , and even during that run, I'm not sure even 12 of it was on trails.  So I guess it would make sense I was sore :)  I think I'm going to save my next trail run for melted snow though... I think it's all melted at school, so that shouldn't be a problem :)

And nooww... PICTURES!  Any of you from this area may recognize the location :)
Nice View... one of MANY
So, okay.. bad running form doesn't work in those Yaktrax.  Oh, and that's my one tattoo.

Yep... this is what I got to look at during my run today.

I have tons more, but they get kind of repetitive.  Those were my favorites :) 

Monday, March 14, 2011

I bought Yaktrax today

This was in order to run on snowy trails again.  For those of you who are unfamiliar with the term "Yaktrax," they are a type of "snow chains" for your shoes to help give you traction on snowy/icy conditions. Why I didn't think of this sooner, I'm not quite sure.  I'm going to test them out tomorrow.  I miss trail running :(  Though I suspect that running on trails in the snow won't be quite like running on dirt trails in every other condition.  I guess I have experience on that though... The Febapple 50 (10... in my case) was on snowy trails.  It was an interesting experience, and while I'm glad I experienced it, I would rather not do another 10 + mile run on snowy conditions on trails with lots of uphill without some type of traction device.  I fell several times, and at other times, it was just impossible to run up some of those hills in the snow in my bare shoes (despite them being trail shoes...).  I really shouldn't even be awake right now, because I was hoping to get a reasonably early start to tomorrow so I could get my long-run in and still have time to enjoy my day, but I didn't sleep great last night due to several weird dreams, so I ended up sleeping in til about noon today; therefore, at about midnight tonight, I am not very tired.  Okay, I'm getting there... I should probably lie down and read rather than sit here and write, but I was too excited about my new traction devices to sleep.  Well, not really.  I did buy a new book though: Into Thin Air, about one man's ascent (or descent) to (from) Mount Everest.  You've probably heard of it... I've read excerpts of it and saw it at the little bookstore down the road, and I wanted to read it, so I bought it.  Now I need to finish my other book and move onto this one...

I suppose it's time to attempt bed now, or at least bed + books :) 


Sunday, March 13, 2011

Run up the mountain

I ran halfway up a mountain to a Buddhist Monastery today.  I think I'm going to actually visit it when I'm not gross and sweaty from running... well, halfway up a mountain.  There is a meditation class there every Saturday that I think I will visit next weekend.  Sounds so cool!

So...   You know, my intention was actually to run up and then hike/run up the hiking trail that was up there.  Unfortunately, my running trail shoes weren't quite enough to grip onto the snow/ice that was still on the trail.  I did try for about a quarter mile when I realized that the ice would probably only get worse, so I turned around and ran back down the mountain.  Talk about quad pain... Knees and foot, however, are doing surprisingly well.  It wasn't a terribly far run... somewhere over six miles (I forgot to restart my Garmin at one point, so I don't have the exact distance), but with the level of difficulty, I don't think that was a bad thing.  I thought about making it longer, but I was hurting.  I also ran about 8.5 miles yesterday - again, not VERY far, but it also involved a decent amount of hills.  I usually don't run many hills because at school we have one giant hill... and it just isn't that much fun to keep running it over and over again... Then again, neither is the constant straight away that I run on.  Either way, this is a new area, with lots of cool new places to run! Also a lot of culture.  I want to explore some of the little shops out here!  I think tomorrow I will :)  I wandered around a bit yesterday, but really, I was too sore to walk around a whole lot today, lol.  I may drive up an hour or so north tomorrow or the day after and check out some other towns.  Ah freedom... I love it!  Feels like there is only one thing missing...

Those are my profound thoughts for the day... I'm going to drink some wine and work a bit more on this research.  So much easier to do when I'm here and not at school...


Friday, March 11, 2011

Creepy dreams about Tsunamis? And Spring break

First:  This tsunami stuff is creepy because I've had two dreams in the past three months about tsunamis.  Here is a copy and paste of my other blog from January 15th that I wrote about one of my dreams:

This one was about a tsunami.  A really big one. For some reason I lived on the coast and could see it "brewing" outside my window.  The waves in the ocean were getting bigger and bigger throughout the day after one of the guys I know (not sure why he was in the dream) told us that there was a tsunami expected at 8 p.m. the next day.  My friends and I went out dancing anyways the night before, and we started seeing the waves the next day.  Everyone was still asleep and I looked out the window and there were small lightning strikes over the water as the waves got bigger and bigger, kind of like an electrical storm of some sort, and the sky was dark (even though it was morning/afternoon... not sure of the exact time).  The random guy said "I'm getting outta here!"  And of course I thought "why didn't I think of that?"
So I go to wake my family up and they are being sluggish, so I start yelling it's an emergency and a huge tsunami is brewing outside our window.  They finally get up and are ready, but for some reason I couldn't find anything.  I couldn't find my shoes or clothes or anything so we could leave.  I was starting to panic, and then I woke up.
I wonder if these dreams are a result of my lack of sleep last week and my new sleeping schedule.

My second one I wrote on 15 February in my other journal (not online)... I woke up in the middle of the night (3:21 a.m.... I actually write times on my journal entries), and wrote very quickly while I still remembered it.  I will leave out the first portion (which involved crazy people):

"At Drum, lots of snow.  People in crazy boots.  Walking around in snow.  Lake got very windy.  Thought of another tsunamis.  Wave swept us awaky but I skiied w/feet.  Then woke up" (yes that's what I wrote at 3:21 a.m.

Sooo... two in the the past few months, so when I heard about this it freaked me out. 

On another note...

Today is the first day of Spring Break... My last spring break as a cadet.  I have never gone anywhere warm, and this year is no exception.  Well, okay, last year I did go to Florida, and it wasn't very warm :-/  So I have TRIED, it just hasn't happened.  Without getting into exact details as to where I went (I mean... I don't know if I have a stalker out there?  Unlikely, but you never know), I am spending my time in a very cute little place in a little mountain'ish town.  Unfortunately, there is still some snow here, fortunately, it is not a lot.  I intend on some hiking/trail running/exploring all the cool little shops and such around here. 

Currently, I am enjoying a glass of the very good complimentary red wine that was left for me on the little dining room table.   I actually got to cook dinner tonight, which was awesome.  I know, for normal people, that's not really a big deal.  For me... well... We don't get to cook much back at school.  It's not as if I have a kitchen though some people do joke that my room is like a kitchen.  So I have to brag about my meal because back in the day (high school - WAY back in the day), my family used to joke about my cooking abilities.  Of course, I CAN cook... I just chose not to.  Anyways, sauteed spinach, mushrooms and chicken sausage, topped with crumbled goat cheese as my side dish.  The main dish was three cheese and spinach ravioli with vodka sauce, and again some crumbled goat cheese.  Oh it was so good... And now I get to drink wine, which, by the way, I'm not allowed to do in my own room at school.  I may actually get some work done as well...  I remember back in Germany my college grades were awesome.  I mean, part of that was because the classes were sooo easy, but the other part I think was because I was in a relaxed state when I did my work.  I was by myself, and nobody was giving me new work to do at 9 p.m.  Actually... I was usually in bed by 9:30 or 10.  Oh how I miss those days. 

And I started that hours ago.  I actually spent a few hours working on research... and drinking wine.  So productive :) 

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Grumpy, Tired, and generally Bleh

It's about 11:30 P.M. here.  I've been working on my capstone paper for awhile... It's about ten pages, and I feel like it should be much longer, but I don't really know what else to say... There is so much data on my topic that I could write an entire series of books, but I need to keep it to relevant information.  My topic is Divorce in the Military, and more specifically, we are writing about factors that cause divorce in the military, and how we are trying to contribute to solving the problem using positive psychology.  So, we created a website that is supposed to offer support to spouses in the form of "success stories."  Basically, people submit struggles they may have encountered as a married couple and how they overcame those issues.  We also link them to various sites that they can use as support such as blogs/forums/family readiness groups, etc.  It's a good idea in concept... I'm hoping we get a decent grade.  I feel like my writing sounds much more like a freshman written product as opposed to a senior's capstone paper.  Ugh. 

I'm also grumpy... And tired.  I kept waking up last night from weird dreams.  Very vivid and odd... not BAD dreams, just very strange.  One was so realistic I literally felt everything I would have in the situation and woke up feeling as if it had happened.  Weird...  I've also had the munchies like crazy all day.  I've wanted chocolate, fatty foods, etc.  Somehow I've managed to avoid over-eating (mostly).  I suspect because for ONCE I have hardly any food in my room, hehe.  That and I've been so anxious most of the day that food hasn't been that appealing, minus the past few hours or so.  I feel bad for people who cross me when I'm in this type of mood... Luckily I've kept my mouth shut for the most part, minus this blog (which I guess is more my fingers than anything I'm SAYING), and putting my half eaten slice of pizza back in the box when one of my friends was giving me a hard time earlier (sorry for that if you're reading this!)... I ended up finishing most of it anyways. 

On a positive note, I did an 8-mile run today.  On a couple of negative notes... my knees are kind of bothering me (though oddly they are feeling better now than they did BEFORE my run), and rather than coming back from my run feeling happy like I usually am, I was still in a bad mood.  Probably because some asshole towny yelled something at me while I was trying to cross the street.  I don't know what he said, but it didn't sound nice and it was right before I got back on post.  It made me not like people very much... which I was all ready feeling today for most of the day minus a few moments where I was able to be in a good mood.

Alas, I must finish writing this paper... editing it and such.  I really hope I get a decent grade.  Maybe I should do more on it tomorrow morning when I'm more alert... I feel like right now I'm just not alert enough to come up with anything that sounds good.  I mean... it's DONE, just not... DONE DONE.  If that makes sense?  Plus I have two more papers to work on... I thought senior year was supposed to be easier??? :) 


Saturday, March 5, 2011

run and such

Today's workout was a 12 mile run.  Longest run since November (just like last weekend).  :)  My foot was hurting a little when I finished, but it's fine now.   It was overall a good run.  Not a terribly fast pace (9:24 minute mile), but I purposely ran it a little slower... It's too easy for me to start off too fast for a long run, because, well... frankly, a 9-minute mile just isn't fast, but when I'm building my endurance back up, it is.  I wear my Garmin, so I usually know my exact pace at most points in the run, and it's not uncommon for me to look down and think "Oh I better slow down."  I'm glad I did because I was pretty tired by the end of the run.  I'm still exhausted, actually. 

Funny story from my run: so one of the regiments here had Saturday training.  I have no idea where they had it considering where I saw them driving from, but anyways, I was running across the bridge here that's about six miles out from school, and a group of them in their HMMWVs and uniforms is driving back to school waved at me and was yelling "hooah!  PT is free!!!"  I was running in my uniform, of course.  So, that made me laugh.  I don't know if I knew them, I suppose if I did, they may be reading this now :) 

I probably shouldn't go out tonight.  However, I'm absolutely famished and don't have much real food to eat.  I have lots of noodles, but I had noodles for lunch, and I have spinach, but something tells me that won't really fill me up.  Of course, there's cheese.  But none of this will fill me up much after running... Especially because I've had very little to eat today. So, dinner will be at my favorite little place that is within a ... two minute walk.  Most of you who read this know exactly what I'm talking about.  Unfortunately, dinner is never just dinner... it's usually drinks too.  And it's Saturday night and everyone has had a stressful week, so I bet it will be packed. 

We had our inspection this morning, to include a room and uniform inspection.  Oh boy that was fun... I love standing in the same position for 50 minutes, but at least it wasn't cold!  It's so warm up here right now!  I wish it could stay this way.  Perfect running temps! 

Alas, my stomach is speaking to me in all sorts of expletives right now, so I had better go get some food. 


Thursday, March 3, 2011

Nothing too profound

I just felt like writing rather than cleaning for a little bit... I think I am coming down with something.  Since my roommate was just sick, I guess it would make sense that I would be getting sick as well.  I got a reasonable amount of sleep last night and slept for two hours this morning, but I still feel icky, and felt pretty terrible upon waking up.  Even my appetite is kind of dead right now... Which, by the way, DOESN'T HAPPEN.  Well, it hasn't completely affected my appetite... I still had some rice noodles and cheese and crackers as an early dinner and hot chocolate/green tea ice cream (yes, I put some green tea ice cream in the hot chocolate, and it's delicious).  I didn't finish the hot chocolate though, and I don't feel like devouring the entire pint of ice cream, which is unusual (though I've had this particular pint for three weeks, so I suppose I might be past that stage of my life in the realm of ice cream... at least for now.)  Now I'm just drinking some Yerba Mate tea to give me some energy to continue with my evening.  I'm trying to cut back on my caffeine consumption, so I've been pretty good about sticking to just tea unless I need an extra boost from coffee or in an energy drink.  I figure they'll help me more if I'm not drinking 3-4 cups of coffee a day and an energy drink in the afternoon. 

 I found out at lunch today that I have to help with the boxing smoker we have here tonight.  Yep, you read it right... I found out about it six hours in advance.   Basically, a bunch of cadets compete for the best boxer.  Turns out they need people to monitor alcohol intake, and they recommend that my position is one of them.  Of course, I all ready HAD plans with my friends, but it's okay... I cancelled them.  Work first, right?  It could be worse, I was just upset about the short notice, but I knew it wasn't really anybody's fault... things change at a level higher than any cadets have control over and we just have to adjust.  I suppose the rest of the Army is this way too, except instead of having to walk down to a boxing smoker last minute for a few hours, you have to go TDY or deploy at a last minute's notice (yes, I recall having to go TDY for a month with a day's notice in Germany).   At least I don't have to be in a uniform, and I suppose it will only be a few hours, and then I hope to go drink away my sorrows.  Just kidding on the drink away my sorrows part... but I may have a couple of drinks pending how I'm feeling.  I HAVE just spent the past 3.5 hours cleaning and reorganizing everything... which, by the way, is a LOT of stuff for this tiny little room.  We have a big inspection on Saturday morning.  I suppose everyone who reads this actually all ready knows that anyways... well, for the few of you who may randomly stumble across this blog some other way besides my Facebook page, once a semester we have a Saturday morning inspection where they check our drawers, look for dust, etc.  Everything has to be very spic and span and look pretty much exactly like a diagram they have for us.  "They" is the institution.  Yes, I intentionally used they as a singular noun... My grammar isn't THAT terrible :)  But this blog is all over the place.. ah... once again, I feel drunk and I haven't had a drink.

Speaking of grammar... that paper I was up until very late working on on Sunday.  I got an A.  Hooray.  And here I thought I was going to get a C...

I suppose I should stop rambling about nothing (haha, it fits with my blog name!!!) and actually get ready for this boxing thing.  Even though it doesn't start for another hour...


Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Thoughts on singledom

I was realizing just a few minutes ago that this is the longest time I have been single since I was a freshman.  It's been about nine months.  I was also realizing that this is the longest period of time I've felt like myself since... well... before I came to this place.  I really don't know if there is any link there.  Probably not a huge one, but there seems to be a bit of correlation.  I actually think the fact that I'm getting more okay with who I am is why I'm happy, not because I'm single.  Being content being single means that I'm just more content with who I am.  Of course, I wasn't looking for anyone the last two times I was in a relationship.  They just kind of happened.

These are just some observations... not to say if something did come along I would mind.  I think I'm probably in a better place now than I ever was the last two times I started relationships.  How can you be happy with someone else when you can't be happy with yourself?  If anyone has ever seen or read ... the movie whose name I can't remember... ugh... Anyways, it's a little more extreme than the average person because the girl is very depressed and suffers from bipolar disorder, anyways, she says when she meets  her boyfriend in the film: "Little does he know that he's going to save me."  Well, the relationship falls apart.  I hope I didn't ruin the movie for anyone, but I suppose if you haven't seen it yet you probably won't because it's an old movie.  I'll put in the name when I can remember :)

This is probably the most open I've been on a public blog, and I have no idea who will read this, but I think the ideas are pretty applicable to most people. 

Now I must stop procrastinating and finish reading these four pages before class... :)