A poem (and procrastination)

Feeling particularly bleh after a slightly crappy day and being quite tired for no good reason, I decided that ice cream would help when Melissa invited me to go eat with her.  It did. And then I came back and wrote a poem, which I just don't do often enough anymore.  The good news is, being tired and feeling slightly melodramatic inspired me to write something that might actually be semi-decent (for some reason my happy poems always suck).  It's called "This Secret." 

This Secret

It’s been some time since I’ve been here

In this hidden spot where I lie

This little secret a little too near

But I won’t let you know

Cause I’m frozen on the outside

And I won’t let it show

                   Through the ice where I hide

                   This is how it’s always been

                   And how it’ll always be

       Hidden inside a wooden den

                   Is this secret within me

                   But put your flame to that frost

                   Watch it melt, watch it burn

                   I might be scared, I might be lost

                   But that little secret you might earn

Okay, instead of writing poems I'll start on this paper that's due tomorrow.  And studying for an exam I have tomorrow.  My motivation to do ANYTHING has decreased exponentially this past week.  Anything except run, that is, and play my flute (which I did with my roommate playing accompaniment on the piano!  I found my accompaniment books!!!) .  I ran today for six miles on the treadmill.  I only ran on the treadmill because I just felt like not thinking about where I was running and drowning myself in music with endorphins (told you I'm feeling melodramatic - I'm even wearing the artsy hat to prove it), and we can't run with headphones on post.  Oh, I'm also listening to my chick-rock/Indie/whatever-genre-you-wanna-call-it... Or hippie-music as my roommate calls it.  Love it. 

And since most of you have no idea I write, or haven't read any of my writing, I'll finish with a couple of other random poems I've written in the past, like...  well, years.  I only had to copy and paste these :)   

Here is a favorite of most people's... I don't remember the title.  I don't really title most of my poems...

Looking at the reflection on the mirror
The past hidden in almost-black eyes
Wondering why in my heart I fear her

Walking through a thick, dark door
Leaving all the old ways behind me
Leaving behind every known horror

Running isn't even fast enough
Needing to get away from that girl
A little farther, just a little more tough

Am I far enough away?
I wonder
To not hear what she wants to say?

Finally exhausted and tired
Forgetting why I'm running
A reason finally being required

I turn slowly around
And there she stands
I can only look down

Eventually I must
Look her in the face
I gaze up with no trust

I am astounded by what I see
Not a huge monster
Only me

------------------------------------

Hanging on to the ledge

Hardly grasping

Close to the edge

Swinging up

Then falling down

Fingers slipping

Afraid to hit

The cold, hard ground

Grab my hand

Before I fall

Pull me up

This slippery wall

And if your hand

Lets mine slip

Let clouds soften

The hardened land

---------------------------

I have several more, but I don't know where they are right now.  I think they are on writing.com under username nrb2233 if anyone is curious. (http://www.writing.com/main/portfolio/view/nrb2233)  I also have other ones scattered about the internet somewhere...  And in journals... and... yep.

Okay, paper-writing time now.

~Nina